You can donate to the Victoria Sexual Assault Centre here.

Trigger warning: This post contains discussions of rape, sexual assault, and violence against women.

For those who haven’t been following social media over the past week in Victoria, this post will come as a bit of a surprise and maybe a shock. In the past few months on an Instagram account @survivorstoriesproject, women working in the restaurant industry have been reporting sexual assaults. More recently, on the same account, women reported sexual violence by a number of Victoria real estate agents.

In response, on social media last Saturday, Victoria Councillor Stephen Andrew posted the following tweet:

He has since apologized, acknowledged the existence of rape culture, and made a motion for Victoria Council to create a task force to address sexual abuse. More on the motion below.*

Some may wonder how anyone could claim that rape culture doesn’t exist. There’s an easy answer: It’s the very misogynistic and patriarchal organization of western society that perpetuates rape culture, that makes it possible to claim that rape culture doesn’t exist. In other words, it is male privilege to be able to be blind to the existence of rape culture.

Rape Culture Rape culture is defined as “an environment in which rape is prevalent and in which sexual violence against women is normalized and excused in the media and popular culture. Rape culture is perpetuated through the use of misogynistic language, the objectification of women’s bodies, and the glamorization of sexual violence, thereby creating a society that disregards women’s rights and safety.”

So many women have written to me this past week outraged, thoughtful and courageous. They’ve outlined, once again, how patriarchy and misogyny work. Many put it so eloquently. Here is what one woman wrote:

“We are fearful walking home after dark, we go for runs without headphones, we avoid booking male massage therapists and other practitioners that place us in a vulnerable position without prior recommendation and vetting from friends, we are uneasy taking public transportation in certain areas or times of day, we can’t leave our drinks unattended, we smile and we laugh in uncomfortable situations until we can politely escape for fear of making the situation worse. The list goes on, and on, and on, and on, and on. I have done all of these things. I know hundreds of women who do these things daily. I would say that this is representative of a culture and society that demands women make unreasonable sacrifices to avoid sexual assault, wouldn’t you?”

In this culture, women, transgender and non-binary people face sexual violence. Over the last 10 years, sexual assault is the only violent crime on the increase in British Columbia and across Canada. Statistics Canada states that less than 5% of victims of sexual violence report to police. This number is likely lower because when these studies are done, rarely do teens and young adults – those at greatest risk of being sexually assaulted – answer the phone and respond to surveys. Of the less than 5% who report, few ever result in charges and only 1.8% (of the 5%) result in convictions. We need to collectively work to change these conditions and make it easier and safer for survivors to speak out and to receive justice.

As noted above, rape culture is also perpetuated through the use of misogynistic language. Brace yourselves for the text I received yesterday afternoon:

“Notice the bottle neck you created on the Tillicum bridge. More traffic congestion more pollution. Well done you dumb CUNT! Article 16 on your blog post on Clover Point you point out what cities like Oakland are doing if that’s what you want do what the majority of Victorians want you to do, fuck off and go there before you do anymore damage to our city. You dumb CUNT!”

I felt sick to my stomach. And shamed. I’m not sure if it’s the capitalization of the word that’s most upsetting, or the fact that the writer needed to say it twice, or the fact that the “Tillicum bridge” isn’t even in Victoria and it’s just easy and convenient to use violent language to blame me – a female politician. It turns out the writer is referring to a wonderful pedestrian improvement project spearheaded jointly by Esquimalt Council and Saanich Council on the Gorge Road Bridge.

I just finished reading a compelling book by Indigenous author Alicia Elliott, A Mind Spread Out on the Ground. Last weekend, as the social media firestorm was unfolding, I happened to be reading the chapter called “On Forbidden Rooms and Intentional Forgetting,” where she talks about her experience of being raped.

She writes, “Arguing that a woman deserves to police the boundaries of her own body – boundaries that are continually, sometimes violently broken by men who have been taught to disregard women’s active, informed consent – is a task similar to Sisyphus rolling a boulder up hill, waiting for it to roll back down and crush him. It’s contrary to all that we’ve been taught about women and men. It questions the very legitimacy of Western misogyny, and thus, Western society. In other words, it’s blasphemy.”

Her words are so strong and powerful, just like all of the survivors who have the courage to speak up. And all the wonderful staff at the Victoria Sexual Assault Centre and the @survivorstoriesproject followers who support them. Keep raising your voices. The world needs to hear us. For men who want to help, thank you. Please donate to the Victoria Sexual Assault Centre here. Examine your privilege, work to address it, don’t be complicit. We need you.

*Re: Councillor Andrew’s motion cited above: Council postponed consideration of the motion on Thursday until we receive a report from staff on work already underway based on an earlier motion made by Councillors Potts and Loveday to address sexual harassment in the restaurant industry. The staff report will outline what jurisdiction, if any, the City has to directly address sexual violence. We won’t set up a task force that gives hope to survivors, only to have the system fail them once again if there’s nothing the City within its jurisdiction can do. Of course we will continue to advocate. And, the City has been funding the Victoria Sexual Assault Centre Clinic – the first of it’s kind in British Columbia – since it opened.

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